MY TOP 20 1980’S MOVIES

          Spending time constructing my top 10 1980’smovies and getting annoyed with having to cut out so many great films, I’ve decided to try and expand it to the top 20 best movies from the 1980’s. I will still have the same restriction of only 1 film from sequels/trilogies etc, so only 1 Indiana Jones, only 1 Back to the future, but other than that this will be MY favourite films, not necessarily the best, just the ones I have had the most enjoyment from, either when I was young or now as an immature adult who still watches old movies. There can also be a bit of flexibility regarding the position of some of these films as it really does depend on my mood. If I want to watch the Goonies, I’m very unlikely to be in the mood to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street, and this would obviously need to be reflected in their respective positions. Lastly I would just like to apologise for my original top 10 from the podcast as I totally forgot Die Hard. And yes I am hanging my head in shame for that.

 

1. Return of the Jedi (1983)

2. Top Gun (1986)

3. The Terminator(1984)

4. Aliens (1986)

5. Ghostbusters (1984)

6. Die Hard (1988)

7. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986

8. Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

9. The Karate Kid (1984)

10. Back to the Future (1985)

11. The Lost Boys (1987)

12. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

13. Platoon (1986)

14. Time Bandits (1981)

15. E.T. (1982)

16. The Goonies (1985)

17. Stand by Me (1986)

18. The Breakfast Club (1985)

19. Dirty Dancing (1987)

20. The Blues Brothers (1980)

LEFT FOR DEAD 2

Left for Dead 2 had a fair amount of bad publicity before its release as it came so close to the release of the original Left for Dead, and many people believed that it really should have be an update or patch for the original rather than a whole new game, but as I never played the original I shouldn’t really get too involved in that argument. Normally I am quite anti a company just milking customers for money and so stay away from their products, but this game came at an opportune time for me and so I took the chance and bought it. Granted there was quite a bit of pressure from friends of mine to buy it, and I had recently given up on World of Warcraft and needed something to fill the gap, but I do love zombies and the chance to just shoot hundreds of them was too much to not try.

                Left for Dead 2 is a basic ‘shoot em up’. Not quite on the same style as Doom or Call of Duty, but it still is pretty basic in its idea. Generally speaking the game consists of a group of 4 survivors (you and 3 other internet based players) who need to escape from various places (i.e. a fun faire, or shopping centre) whilst staying alive. The zombies don’t come in just 1 or 2s, there’s loads and loads and loads and loads and loads of them, all chasing you and doing everything they can to get to you, including climbing fences, ladders and walls in their effort to get you. There are a couple of special harder to kill zombies which pop up who have special attacks, but the theory is still the same. Kill them all. Guns are everywhere and so is ammunition as you do get through bullets big time. When the bullets run out, or just when you feel like it there are melee weapons like a frying pan, sword or chainsaw to use, and bombs and Molotov cocktails to help with the slaughter. Shooting and blowing up these zombies isn’t just a case of hold your finger of the trigger and run around randomly, friendly fire incidents are common and the players also yell out when hit by friendly fire telling you to stop. Also at the end of levels there is a running total of various statistics and being top of friendly fire shootings isn’t a good ranking to have.

                Shoot em up games have seriously developed and improved over the years and the graphics for this game have had more attention paid to them than is probably needed. Shooting the limbs off zombies and watching them fall over, or shooting out their stomach and looking through their body at what’s happening elsewhere is fun, but is it really necessary? The army of zombies tend to keep you very busy and even during the lulls between fights you don’t relax and appreciate the view. You know that they are out there; you know that they are waiting for a noise to attract them, and you can hear the bosses sometimes without seeing them and you always have to be aware of where you other survivors are in order to help them. I would feel guilty about missing all the hard work the developers have put into this game, but hey it’s them who put in all these zombies who want to kill me, so it’s really their fault that I can’t appreciate their work.

                I always used to have problems with internet based games as it always required playing with other people of various levels and various skills and this put me off in more than a few games, but after playing World of Warcraft I’ve started to appreciate playing with other people more. Left for Dead 2 really does rely on team work, more than games like Call of Duty does. As the action is so fast paced and with boss zombies requiring other peoples help to defeat you all normally stay close together and from my own experience when a player goes down everyone rushes to them to protect and revive them. This is a game that needs 4 people playing together. 3 people and you’ll lose.

                I heartedly recommend this game to everyone, its fast paced action with good graphics and entertaining methods of killing masses of zombies. The only problem I can find with this game is that it can only be played with ‘Steam’. If I have to play through Microsoft’s pet software then they really need to start having a few dedicated servers for their games.

BRET HART- HITMAN

I’m not big into reading autobiographies but there were certain events in Bret Harts wrestling life that I was interested in finding out about, and as I was lent the book by my friend Andres, I thought that I might as well read it and find out what happened backstage and out of the public eye.

                Bret does of course start from his beginning, talking about his family, the very strong male influence his father and his wrestling business had on him and his brothers. From the ‘Hart dungeon’ that was famous enough to be mentioned on WCW and WWE to all the financial booms and busts that came with running a small local wrestling business. This was all interesting. Not very interesting, just enough to show how his mindset was as he grew up, how ‘old school’ his training was, and how he developed his outlook on life, women, family, brothers and work. He came from a poor large family who ran a wrestling business. There were some times when they earned lots and they generally spent it. I have a feeling there were probably more poor investments by his father than he lets on in the book, and maybe more than Bret knew about. He hung out working the family businesses more than school, and he suggests that he was the more ‘put on’ brother/sibling or the family. Not being the eldest child myself I do understand that, but I’m guessing his brothers and sisters might well have a different view on some of his earlier childhood grievances. There is lots on his sisters and brothers which he goes into more detail in as he gets older and more famous. It’s not a good healthy family relationship, and my fights with my sister pale in comparison. His family falling outs take it to a whole new ‘Jerry Springer’ level. Not talking, fighting, lawsuits and lawyers are all more part of his relationships with his sisters and brothers than any other family I’ve ever heard of. However they all seem to come together at certain main family events. Those that haven’t died that is.

                The Hart dungeon is talked about along with pictures of the man made holes in the ceiling. The many people who passed through it, learning and being beaten up by Bret’s father. Some names I knew, others were before my time and would probably mean more to older wrestling fans than me. All I can say about the Hart Dungeon is that I’m very glad I wasn’t born into that family, or came anywhere near it. Social services and/or the police would have been involved if it was around now, although I’m not sure if that would be a good thing. The people who passed through didn’t seem to complain, and people seemed to willingly turn up wanting to train there. Granted they might have all been mad, but it was their life, and it suited them more than me.

                It was when Bret got into his time in the WWF and his tours of Japan that I started to get more interested in what he was writing about. He skipped past a few times wrestling in Mexico and how dangerous it all was, and focused more on his time in Japan. This was when he started to mention people remembered watching on TV in my youth. He discusses how it was all down to him that his younger brother Owen got a job within WWF, how Davey Smith, the Dynamite kid and Jim Neidhart all got on, or rather didn’t. There were obviously family issues and major jealousy that went on during the career of all these brother-in-laws. When they got on the shows were great, but there were too many problems for it to last.

                There were three bits of wrestling history that I wanted Bret to go into detail on in this book, the alleged rampant drug consumption of that period, what happened to his baby brother Owen, and the famous ‘Montreal screw job’. The first of these things Bret brings up is drug abuse. He fully admits the majority of wrestlers were consuming large quantities of everything, including himself, and especially Davey Boy Smith. He mentions how he would pop a handful of pills regularly himself just to ease the pain of overworking, and general bumps and bruises. He sweeps past the legal problems that Vince McMahan, and WWF doctors faced with the involvement of the police investigation and it becomes more of a back story as to why the WWF folded on certain agreements they are forced into. However he stops short of ever stating who took what and was supplied by whom (other than one doctor was who charged by the police, but there was no way only one doctor supplied every wrestler in the WWF), and how much he himself took, and relied on. With a few wrestlers who are now dead like Davey Smith, Bret does go into details and how worried he was, and I did find it very funny how he implied that Chyna was a steroid freak (like that was a well kept secret) but for everything else it becomes very obvious that somewhere along the writing of the book, lawyers got hold of a copy and ‘advised’ on how vague some details should be. Smith’s problems have been well documented and discussed before, and whilst Bret does go into how they affected the family, his sister, and wrestling contacts that Bret had, it wasn’t enough for what I expected. After Bret’s falling out with WWF/WWE and all the talk about spilling the beans, I wanted more. I expected more, and whilst it wasn’t a whitewash, I know that there was more that happened which Bret didn’t go into.

                I was surprised at how little he goes into Owen’s death. He does talk about it very well, and it was hard for him, both Owen’s death and all the family arguing, and legal fighting between Owens’ wife and Bret’s family (especially his sister), and the WWF. Again this was probably cut short in the book to avoid lawsuits, but Bret seems to be very much a ‘family’ man (although I don’t mean faithful to his wife though) and the loss of people he knew hits him hard, and writing about Owen probably hurt more than the rest of the book. That is of course just the feeling that I get from the book.

                I do feel sorry for Bret when it comes to the Montreal screw job, but not in the way he wants, I pity him, because I have no sympathy for his plight, and object to him playing the martyr. He had quit the WWF to move to the WCW at a time when the WCW was not only competing, but beating the WWF on TV viewing. Both companies had a hostile relationship with each other, poaching stars, bad mouthing and even making public wrestling results from the other before they had been shown on TV. Granted Bret had been with the WWF for years and years and was according to him well liked, but to think that you can quit a company, and take the World Championship Belt with you to the competitors is just plain stupid. Shawn Michaels, the Heartbreak Kid was probably used by Vince to take the belt from him in an underhand manner, but Bret really had to either be very naive, stupid, or massively egocentric to think that he had a right to take that belt with him. WWF, just like all the other wrestling firms is a business which exists to make money. Allowing your competitors to take your belt and ridicule you live on television was never going to happen, and shouldn’t be allowed to happen; at least not by a company that wishes to last. Bret was wrong on this, very wrong, and I won’t take his side, and instead I put all the blame on him, not on the others whom he forced into acting the way they did. It isn’t very often that I would take Vince’s side in an argument over ethics, but in this case I will, and the fact that it is this one event that Vince credits for creating his evil television persona that has earned him millions I find amusing and a perfect example of karma coming back to bite Bret on the arse.

                There is a reason why I don’t normally read autobiographies and it is because I normally finish them knowing less about the real events than I did before I read the book. It was funny reading about the power play and games between Hogan, Flair, Nash, HHH and many others, but I wasn’t looking for a comic to laugh along with. The only part of this book that I think Bret has been honest with is his volatile relationship with his siblings, and even that leaves me wanting to meet his family and ask for their opinion. Bret comes across as a womaniser, who probably shouldn’t have got married, as a saint, the leader of the pack which he wasn’t and a saint. I know I said that twice, but there is no way that he was as much of a victim in his personal life as he tries to make out, although he does come across with having good intentions during his turbulent life.

The Watchmen

                I had never heard of Alan Moore until I saw ‘V for Vendetta’ and since then he’s become my favourite writer/cartoonist. His grimness if that’s a word, and darkness fits my mood perfectly at certain times, and his take on society, his various alternative societies fits in with those dark nights/early mornings when I’m walking around London on my own before or after work, or at home in an introspective mood. It’s all very 1984, but not necessarily anti-government even if they’re the enemy, but anti how people have allowed society to go, through their own actions. Everyone has had problems with people they think of as nutters, criminals, thugs or antisocial people, and Alan Moore takes his worlds problems and fights against them in a anti-hero way that shows Batman up for the ‘PG rated’ anti-hero that he is.

                The premise of this film is based on how the world could have moved on after World War II if Nixon wasn’t a corrupt thief and lost the election and Kennedy hadn’t been there to win the Cuban crisis, resulting in the Soviet Union versus America cold war being much closer to nuclear apocalypse than actually happened. Crime and gang fighting had reached new highs, and so masked vigilantes had taken to the streets to combat gangs, murders and other societal problems. These were not superheroes; they had no special powers and actually retired through old age (or death or madness) and would be replaced by younger masked vigilantes in the same outfits and under the same name. There is one true superhero/god called Doctor Manhattan who was caught up in an experiment which destroyed him, and recreated him in a new form which allowed him to control his surrounding, time and everything really. His powers could teleport people, kill them (he single handily ended the Vietnam War) see into the future, create a base on Mars, and maybe as he says create life. Just not change human nature. Lots of fighting and reliving past glories and mistakes happen, and it comes down to the secretly evil and maybe misguided, maybe not misguided Ozymandias to have a cunning (and very evil) plan to unite the human race by killing lots of them. I won’t say how he plans to do this, or if he succeeds, but it is a plan to break past governments, countries and cultural problems, and unite all. Quite a good evil plan in my opinion and it has to put Ozymandias up there in the evil mastermind genius category.

                There are a few differences between the original comic book and film. What happens to Rorschach is different, although due to the way the comic book portrays this, I understand why the film skips it. Films prefer a nice simple tie up of loose ends rather than a complex mentally disturbed main character out of place and time. Films do need to have a certain amount of ease of watching about them. The other main difference is how much of a role The Silk Spectre plays in the film. Her role isn’t as big in the comic, but the film obviously wanted a nice hot cute lady in tight clothes wandering around more to appeal to its target male audience. The sex scene is totally unnecessary too, although I am glad that it wasn’t cut and, hey she’s cute. Overall to me the film follows enough of Alan Moore’s original comic to not cause offence or upset the general story in any major manner. I understand that Moore distanced himself from the film, and was upset at how it went, but he does have a reputation for that, and wouldn’t keep selling the rights to his stories if it really was as much of an issue as he makes out.

                The design of the world works well for me. There’s the graffiti on the walls, the litter flapping around the streets, the gangs ambushing people (including our heroes) in dark alleys (why do people still walk down them) and the required dark dreary bars for low life scum to be found in. Other films have tried this including Batman and Gotham city and they have almost pulled it off, but it’s definitely more depressing and life like in ‘The Watchmen’ than I have seen in other films. People in the street still have the hope of normal people, they haven’t been crushed like in 1984 and George Orwell’s take on the future, but have adjusted to living under the threat of war, holocaust or just street level crime. I can imagine walking the streets there more than in other films which have tried harder and maybe too much to create an atmosphere. Even at the end in the news office when the world is all wonderful and cheerful, I could imagine having to work in that little office and putting up with the daily grind that workers face in a good or bad society. The makers of this film have set the scene first, and then they have put in all the very colourful (I don’t mean brightly clothed) characters that I really believe Alan Moore should have been proud of. The film has more tinkered with his story and design than changed it, and for me, it’s the world that Moore creates rather than one off characters that many others create that’s important.

                Having read both V for Vendetta and The Watchmen and then afterwards watched both films, I can understand why Moore walked away in a huff. I can also understand why several changes were made to allow them to fit into the film industries requirements. Many other films have fallen apart when moving off the original story, but for me and others I have talked to ‘The Watchmen’ not only survives Hollywood, but comes out the other side surrounded in glory and is well worth watching.

The Day Of The Triffids

                 Author: John Wyndham

                When I first discovered this story at a young age, it wasn’t the book that I found, but rather the television series that even now I still appreciate. Watching the series and enjoying it I thought I might as well buy the book (granted years later, but that’s not the point) and it’s actually better than the television show, and for those who’ve seen it, they’ll appreciate what that means.

                We meet our hero/guy next door Bill Masen at the beginning of the book where he’s recovering in a hospital after having been stung by a Triffid – a financially valuable walking venomous 6 foot tall plant – at work and needing treatment for his eyes. This start introduces us to the Triffids as Bill talks us through his work in farming the plants after his obsession with them from an early age. The history and conspiracy theory behind the arrival of the Triffids continues throughout the book including how society came to accept them, breed them and use them and how they multiplied and became the biggest threat to mankind the first chance they got. Our Hero Bill leads us through his own experiences as he discovers the state of the hospital, local area (starting with the pub!), then London and finally the world (this is implied as no American help ever arrives as many people believe would). The start of this story proved such a good one that it was even copied by ‘28 Days Later’, a classic zombie movie. Our hero quickly meets and saves the damsel in distress –Josella Playton and then we follow their journey and survival. They meet a few other survivors, loose them, loose each other, find others, leave them, find each other again, meet the bad guys and then finally head off into the sunset to live happily ever after. All this happens without that much seeming to happen in their lives. Rather than talk us through the day to day lives of survival all the way through the book, John Wyndham focuses on the first few days as the despair builds and society falls apart and people learn to unlearn their old social restrictions that could mean the difference between life and death. Suicide is frequent in the beginning and the thought of it continues as so does the despair. I also have feeling that Wyndham wasn’t a fan of various religious and social restrictions placed on people in his life, because those who refused to leave those restrictions behind tended to die – horribly.

                Of course the biggest problem facing mankind in this story isn’t the Triffids but the blindness that strikes 90 percent of the population of the world and the following diseases. Without them there would have been no problems and the Triffids would never have had taken their chance to break free and become the dominate ‘sentient’ beings on this planet. Obviously there is a point to the potential end of the human race and how is it really the Triffids that are the biggest threat or is it really mankind killing itself. The Triffids might have been created by mankind in a Soviet Union research lab, and the meteorites and diseases could have been a man made weapon to be used against some country’s enemies in the future but went wrong/was sabotaged. The really scary point is that there is no reason why half of this isn’t a real possible problem in the future. Not the Triffids themselves although with genetic research going the way it is, we could easily create a GM crop of serious concern, but even George Orwell used his books to highlight how governments could use secret research bases to create killer viruses to wipe out crops/people/society. Bombs have been created and used in the Vietnam and Iraq wars that were designed to kill humans, but leave buildings and infrastructure still intact and useable. The idea of a killer satellite going wrong and misfiring isn’t that far from reality really, but whilst Wyndham does mention all this and how our hero believes that this is the case, he doesn’t dwell on the conspiracy theories too much to put off the casual reader, even if this is a bit that I like and would probably have spent more time exaggerating. However I probably would exaggerate in a way which would demonstrate how Wyndham’s point is believable and mine is paranoid nonsense.

                John Wyndham builds his characters in a manner which allows us to grow into their characters and appreciate their growth. I even like the little old lady who is discovered and all we learn about is that she owns a little shop, likes to drink and can cook. What else do we need to know!! Various character traits in all the people from the independent female lead to the leftist leading well educated but misguided leader Wilfred Coker,  to the religious woman Miss Durrant who won’t leave her ideals behind and probably ends up dying, to the never gives up blind man who achieves more than I ever could in his place. Even the bad guy character that pops up twice and is nothing more than a school boy bully grown up, we can all recognise, even though this book was written over 50 years ago, there is very little which would need to change to relate to the present time. Only the references to smoking would probably be pulled by the publishers now, and that’s more to do with being politically correct than any change in personal habits from the Wyndham’s time.

                Whilst most of the content of this blog are zombie and vampire based I have decided to include other topics close to my heart and that includes this book. After all what are the Triffids if not a plant version of a zombie? This is an older book and story, that has proved so popular and well written that it was made into a television series and I believe is being remade again as the story is probably more relevant now than when it was written 60 years ago. Not many books can say that, or are this good.

ZOMBIELAND

‘6 people left alive in the world and 1 of them is Bill fu**in’ Murray’. Any film that comes from has to be good. No scrap that, great. I was born in the midish 1970’s and this film totally is aimed at my generation. The cultural references aren’t that strong, not till Bill M. arrives, and only then during his time in the movie. And yes I totally agree with Woody Harrelson, I hate 12 year olds too. Watch the film and you’ll understand that comment.
Anyway onto the film, our very non-hero is seen running away from zombies, and he takes us back various times during the film to describe his first experiences with the zombies, and some of his many (32) rules on how to stay alive. Each rule he goes through (and don’t worry he only goes through a couple) is visually demonstrated with a zombie or human or both being killed/ destroyed in particularly imaginative ways. And if the government don’t use this film to encourage people to wear seatbelts then they seriously lack imagination. Anyway on the run our totally rubbish hero – Columbus, meets the mad and totally zombie kicking Tallahassee (Woody) and they agree to stay together for the short term. They both know that relationships can lead to being killed in this zombieland. Travelling they get conned by our two female actresses Wichita (Emma Stone who is totally hot) and her kid sister Little Rock. The girls conning the guys and running away, and the guys finding them and the general love story/ family bonding that goes on is the film. During their trip they need somewhere to stay and that’s where Bill M. comes into it. He’s amazing, and should Ghostbusters really be that much of a cultural icon? Hell yeah. Everyone in the cinema regardless of age felt the music from that film, and the Ghostbusters scenes. It so fitted the humour of this film perfectly.
The actors really didn’t need to work that hard on the characters. Woody has played a psycho so much better, but not a psycho zombie hater in a comedy. No one could top him even Bill didn’t compete with him. The others were outshined by the 12 year old ‘Little Rock’ who works great with any of the others there. The zombies were pretty gross. Lots of blood, spitting blood, groaning, moaning, young, old, fast and slow. They were all there. The kids party that went zombie, the theme park with its horror house, the fat guy being too fat to run away, Ruben Fleischer the director, got it all in there. No green tint to their skin, but they did look dead. There was no mistaking a zombie for being anything but dead.
There was suspense in this film, but none of it lasted very long. I didn’t want to go out during the film to use the bathroom, partly not to miss anything, but mostly because of what happens when you go in the film. The final fight scene in the theme park was the main suspense for this film. The girls trapped on the ride, Woody trapped in the kiosk surrounded by hordes and hordes or zombies, and our hero being chased down by yet more zombies whilst trying to save the girls. Will everything end badly for all concerned? Will Woody run out of ammunition and how many times did it take his reloading scene to look that good? Will the girls have their feet bitten off? How will the hero get free? Watch the film. It’s totally worth it. Everyone in the cinema male and female loved this film. Everyone laughed, everyone jumped at the right times, and everyone felt for Bill Murray.

Diary of the Dead

Diary of the Dead is the latest (last) instalment of zombie films from the granddad of zombies George A. Romero. The premise of the film is the dead start to return to life as usual and our ban of intrepid heroes/cannon fodder are the usual students who like to argue and fight and generally moan. They are led by an Eliza Dushku look-a-like (and not a very good one) who we listen to and experience life through thanks to her making movie obsessed boyfriend who no one really cares about alive or dead. He doesn’t even get mourned over the way the others do. There is also the one adult – the film professor who turns out to be a drunk English film professor/ philosopher/ Rambo. The pointless boyfriend insists on filming everything whilst posting it on the internet and downloading other blogs people have posted whilst being eaten around the world. I’m not totally sure how the internet is still up and going and electricity is and everything as the world falls apart, but who am I to pick holes in the  plot of a zombie film. I was worried at the beginning of the film when it opens to us watching through the camera as it could have been like the Blair Witch Project, but thankfully Romero is much better than that and the film is shot professionally even when watching the ‘students’ footage.

                The acting of this film is not going to set the world alight. Very few horror movies ever really require Oscar acting, but this bunch of actors are just bland. Not good or bad, just bland. I can’t think of very much to say about them one way or the other. The bad guys aren’t that bad, the good guys aren’t that good, and in general even the attempt at political statements are just bland and easy to miss/ ignore.

                Then there are the actual zombies. I like my zombies to look the part. Limbs missing, entrails all over the place, and slight green look to their skins, and a general dead look. This lot just don’t do that for me. I know that in most cases the zombies in this film have only just died and so don’t need to look as though they died months ago, but they look more alive than the actors. There are only a couple of situations where the zombies look zombie like. In the hospital one looses all its entrails and near the end we see a downloaded blog of a women tied up by her hair being shot. The others just look like slow moving moaners. The zombie moaning is good though. Just the right level, although I’m not sure if that’s the best compliment I can give a movie.

                Talking of compliments, Romero does come up with a few new ways to kill zombies which I liked. The paddles in the hospital, the acid in the warehouse and the last girl to be shot hanging by her hair, but that really isn’t enough to make a zombie movie. New ways of killing zombies is more for the humorous movies, not the hack and slash zombie film that Romero is famous for.  I guess he’s just been a bit too influenced by the modern cheap and mass produced horror movie industry that centre around the same characters and cheap gimmicks.

                I can’t just be negative about this film. It is a good film. Or rather is a good standard film. Unfortunately if this had been one of his first films he would never have made his name in the industry and would have been swept aside by anyone else who happened to make any other horror movie. Sorry George, but I wanted more.

RESIDENT EVIL

 

                Resident Evil for me is one of the best zombie movies of the modern genre there is. In this film Mila Jovoich plays Alice our main hero/zombie killer who with other military specialists (including Michelle Rodriguez) have to enter a top secret research base called the Hive run by the very, very, very EVIL company called the Umbrella Corporation as all communications have been lost with. It turns out, as we all can guess that all the workers/researchers have been contaminated by the T-Virus and have turned into zombies. This then leads to lots of shooting and fighting and succumbing to the zombie masses that is expected in a zombie film, with loads of sub-plots thrown in for good luck. The sub-plots which are nice, but really who cares include why Alice has no memory, and the very obvious betrayal by the Umbrella Corporation at the end of the film that our heroes really should have seen coming, but is necessary for the nice open lead for the sequel – Resident Evil 2.

                The actors/actresses all play their parts so well, and whilst this is a very action based zombie film, there were no parts where I wanted to laugh at either the acting, script or sets. All too often this is a problem with this genre, even if it’s not that unexpected. Mila J. plays her role very well, both the acting part which is surprisingly important for the plot, and the kicking zombie ass part which is totally fun. The only negative I have concerning the film revolves one of the supporting actresses Michelle Rodriguez. Having never played the games I wasn’t aware of how Alice is the only main character, and the way that Michele’s character is totally …. well zombiefied I was heartbroken. I like her. Always did, always will. It was just totally wrong. I was not amused!!!

                All zombie films require a certain amount of suspense, building up for the first contact, and carrying it on for all the corners in the deep dark base that need to be turned, as our hapless bunch of heroes or at least humans slowly decrease. This first Resident Evil film hits that target just right for me. At no point did I want to hide, or leave through boredom, which I have been known to do.

                As for the zombies themselves these guys are just what zombies should be. Mindless and violent, with a good walking speed and attacking voracity. And none of that rubbish talking about ‘brains’ or ‘flesh’ that some more corny films seem to love. They suit the look too, the right amount of makeup, and the right amount of blood being splattered on windows and general area. You really feel the undead.

                This film is a must for all those who appreciate a good ass kicking zombie film. I own this film on dvd, and have watched it many times. I like it enough to even watch the end of my Michelle.

My first movie review

ZOMBIE STRIPPERS

 

                Just watched this very light entertaining version of a zombie movie and found myself loving it. The basic story line is a secret American military complex is doing its usual research into re-animating dead soldiers, but it only works well on women. Men just become very slow dumb zombies. The virus breaks out and a military group called Z-Squad have to use lots of guns and knives to kill the zombies. The virus is freed in a illegal strip club where Jenna Jameson works and the strippers hate each other, but all end up wanting to become strong very good strippers to compete with each other. The boss of the strip club is none other than Robert Englund – aka Freddy Kruger. Between the strippers fighting each other with pool balls amongst other things, and the good guys shooting loads, and the not so good or bad guys shooting and succumbing to zombies, there is plenty of violence that is required in a zombie movie. There are also enough scenes of strippers dancing as the name of the film suggests.

                However the acting in this film is bad. I don’t mean bad in a good way, I mean bad in a way that if you watch the deleted scenes you understand why certain ones were cut (due to the actors not keeping a straight face). I’m not suggesting that this lack of acting subtracts anything from the film, it doesn’t, in fact it keeps in the spirit of the very light plot. However if I ever meet Laura Bach (who plays a beautiful soldier in the Z-Squad who wears far too little to be in the army) then I will praise the acting, script and plot of this movie as much as humanly possible.

                To me this film is everything that its name suggests. It’s a great idea for a zombie film. Zombie strippers – you just can’t beat that. It has a  very light plot, acting and script, but the zombies almost always look great. The strippers look great both pre and post zombifying, the male slow zombies are true old school style – slow and missing limbs and other parts of their anatomy that strippers like to eat. This isn’t a film to pick apart the plot it’s a zombie film for god’s sake, and I believe that if you appreciate zombies, and humour this is a film to watch. Buy it to watch, but don’t spend more than £5 on it. its good, but not that good.